Just wanted to pop in and let you know that while I'm not online very much right now, I am building the next generation of LIL locally right now. Expect an alpha by next month (meaning a test of the software not of the content) and then the content to be in place by the end of summer. *fingers crossed that is... but it's good to have goals.

And for your sublime patience and understanding... here's a peek at chapter 6. Remember: feedback encourages me to post more previews.

Dear Mistress Melissa,

*curtsy*

Thank you for another installment. The further characters, Lacy's ignorance of what to expect and her frustrating dilemna are just .... yummy [& scary too].


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Selfless Love Unchains Time

Great and so enjoyable work as always!
I so much appreciate those breaks you make in the storyline to tell about events of the past between the characters, it builds so much for background and hence, for the best comprehension of the characters!

Really, congratulations.
A great story that opens for so many options! (none good for poor Lacy, hai?)

-Akane


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Okay now -- count me as blown away. My favorite installment by far. Things were going badly for our heroine up 'till now -- lots of possibilities for things to go from bad to worse. But in this chapter things seem to have gone from slowly spiraling out of control for her, to F5 torndado ... and I just love that.

Also, the little back and forth between our heroine and her Lacy alter ego, which seemed a little bit forced at first, (I think just because there isn't any backdrop for it in the first chapter or two) now is a huge strength to the story and the conflict and I love the building desire for Lacy to get her way and finish. That's written so perfect!


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Tad McBride/Tatiana Touchmoi

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Also, the little back and forth between our heroine and her Lacy alter ego, which seemed a little bit forced at first, (I think just because there isn't any backdrop for it in the first chapter or two) now is a huge strength to the story and the conflict and I love the building desire for Lacy to get her way and finish. That's written so perfect!

I'm curious about what parts in particular feel forced. I know I introduced the convention a little into the story (as you mentioned) but in the first couple of chapters Lacy wasn't being repressed. I don't really have the experience with the kind of repression I'm writing about here... in my mind it's akin to how I argue with myself about cigerettes... but I"m curious... is there a specific scene or moment in the early chapters that feels forced? Mainly so I can take a look at it again.

Thanks for the feedback!

In a word superb, though I suspect you're really after more than a single word when it comes to feedback.

I share your love of the Deborah Ford stories (she's my favourite force fem writer), and this tale is most certainly written in Deborah's style – I'm thinking in particular a combination of the 'Bunny Trap' and 'If You Must' stories. You've done a fantastic job of capturing the flavour of her writing, but with your own take on the genre. It's a sad fact that a lot of so called Force Fem stories don't have much in the way of the 'forced' about them. This one does and it's great. I'm referring by the way to all the parts you've posted to date because I was a bit slow noticing the chapters go up originally.

What can I say but more, more, more.

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I'm curious about what parts in particular feel forced. I know I introduced the convention a little into the story (as you mentioned) but in the first couple of chapters Lacy wasn't being repressed. I don't really have the experience with the kind of repression I'm writing about here... in my mind it's akin to how I argue with myself about cigerettes...

Keep in mind from whom this is coming. I've read hundreds of stories from fictionmania and lots of other places so I'm jaded as can be - and this story has gotten into my head in a major way.

For me ... I need a little bit of foreplay. When you start things out it's already well into the game - with Mark versus Lacy and Lacy the bimbo winning. But the trouble is -- I don't know anything at all about Mark yet. So all that conflict where Lacy is already winning was a little bit lost on me at first read... I can go back now and read it (which I did) and it's yummy now. Because I have an idea of who Mark is. Don't get me wrong - the repression and the internal confict is really a huge strength of the story and is done just right the whole way. It just is introduced so early on ...just more an observation than a gripe I think.


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Tad McBride/Tatiana Touchmoi

Having just watched a lot of Lost, I also feel that is being channeled quite a bit in how the story is being told; especially in the sense that even though we know what's going to happen, the story in the past still manages to inform and twist things up a little.

Way back you asked about how accurate we think Mark's psyche is being portrayed. In terms of the repression and the sort of dueling inner monologue, I'm not sure I quite experience the repression in quite the same way so I find that a little out of sync, but I can only speak for me. Also, I recognize how's that's needed as a narrative tool to progress the character so I wouldn't recommend you change it.

The story is twisting in a lot of ways I didn't anticipate. It's like a twisted fairy tale, but a forced fem story. At the start, you have this sense of familiarity with the setup and the character description, but as the chapters are unfolding things are not heading down the typical, expected paths. I think that ramps up the excitement, enjoyment, and the need to keep reading.


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My Intentions Now Dyvia’s
Fear Unbound Cease Knowing Every Decision.
Salvation Lies Against Voracious Enemie

The inner debate is certainly intriguing and I find it interesting that Lacy keeps winning - so far. I don't think I could ... and that is why sissies like us need to be kept in chastity [or belted] if not all the time then certainly most of the time.


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Selfless Love Unchains Time

So I'm late to the party but now I'm all caught up on all the chapters. So here's my impression so far...

It takes a special kind of writing talent to draw upon such a well traveled theme and still make it feel new and fresh. Like, I thought I knew this story from the first few paragraphs, but I keep discovering that I don't. I definitely agree with the comment that this seems to draw on a couple of the ideas Deb Ford explored in "The Bunny Trap," and "If You Must." But this is definitely not a simple retelling of those stories.

You asked about when specifically the character feels trapped. There's the obvious stuff about things like corsets and bedroom doors being locked. But I'll tell you my favorite moment of the feeling of entrapment. It's when Lacy hears Goodwin just outside the door with his wife. She's frozen between the fight or flight instinct just long enough to find herself exposed in front of this strange man. And THEN she finds herself caught between whether she should try to play the part of a real female maid, or assert her masculinity so she can get out of the situation. Ultimately I found her decision to play along very plausible and exquisitely representative of a kind of mental bondage. The fact that later discovers that Goodwin knows her real sex is all the more enticing afterward, because by then he sees that his playing along unwittingly built the impression that he WANTED to play such a role. That adds yet more of a sense of entrapment in which poor little Lacy realizes that she pulled the bonds tightly around herself. THAT is the sort of entrapment that I find most intriguing and erotic... the bonds laid within the mind. They not only sap the ability to resist, but shape resistance itself into a tool the dominant can use to torment.

One aspect I found quite surprising is the "free willy" narrative of Lacy's exposure below her petticoats. This forces her to struggle with a number of new kinds of insecurity which these stories typically gloss over. There is ultimately no hiding ones' "sissy" nature when bent over for a spanking in this situation. Nor is the arousal easily hidden either. Yet I very much understand the Mark/Lacy mental split over the issue, (even if Mark's ability to hold down Lacy's desire for sexual release seems positively herculean in strength at this point). This replaces your normal "chastity belt" device with a kind of mental equivalent, to which I add the same kind of praise I made in the "mental entrapment" comments above.

As to the flashbacks, I think they're used skillfully and are not overdone. They give little hints and teases at how the situation arose in a manner that suggests... but does not assert... that Mark was maneuvered into this trap expertly over time by his Machiavellian wife. By the time it explodes into the full blown loss of control which is the heart of this story, it seems at once surprisingly wicked and perfectly suited for little Mark. He didn't realize that instead of little carefully controlled sips of eroticism he'd be drinking from the fire-hose. And yet, as Lacy's reactions increasingly show, there is more to this than cold cruelty. It actually plays out as an interplay between Mark and Tricia's mutual erotic desires with the raw sexuality of a physical copulation translated into a mind-fuck.

So um... that is to say I liked the story. More please.